War Machine goes apeshit at porn party

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

“This looked like something out of a bad Vince McMahon script as this guy War Machine went nuts and began taking everyone on at this party,” The Vizier says. “We’re talking multiple assaults and battery with the cops after him.”
“War Machine’s own agent, Derek Hay, looked to be the primary target with a couple of shots to the head. Mika Tan’s Ex was KO’d as well & sent to hospital.”
“I never saw anything like it,” continued The Vizier. “War Machine was in kill mode. His fists were lethal weapons. Anyone who tried to get between him and Derek got taken down – hard.”



http://adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=38765#


website is nsfw

[Buckner1986]

This guy needs to die a funny death to make up for this nonsense.

[snipe]

i hope the cops catch up with him and introduce him to their nightsticks

[Meaty Portion]

“This looked like something out of a bad Vince McMahon script as this guy War Machine went nuts and began taking everyone on at this party,” The Vizier says. “We’re talking multiple assaults and battery with the cops after him.”
“War Machine’s own agent, Derek Hay, looked to be the primary target with a couple of shots to the head. Mika Tan’s Ex was KO’d as well & sent to hospital.”
“I never saw anything like it,” continued The Vizier. “War Machine was in kill mode. His fists were lethal weapons. Anyone who tried to get between him and Derek got taken down – hard.”



http://adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=38765#


website is nsfwI can't view the site. Reading the paragraph above I thought it was a poor troll attempt at first. It just sounds too fucked up to be true. Then again, War Machine is retarded.

[Buckner1986]

No, it's real. Just checked.

But the more interesting tidbit is that in the margins of this website there's a ad for the new Twilight porn.

[snipe]

No, it's real. Just checked.

But the more interesting tidbit is that in the margins of this website there's a ad for the new Twilight porn.

theres a huge thread on sherdog about this i just checked out that said this is viral marketing for that stupid movie

[snipe]

still doesnt change the fact that this guy needs to die

[Meaty Portion]

No, it's real. Just checked.

But the more interesting tidbit is that in the margins of this website there's a ad for the new Twilight porn.

lol oh god no

[Meaty Portion]

theres a huge thread on sherdog about this i just checked out that said this is viral marketing for that stupid movie

Wait, the fight is a marketing tool or the margin ads are?

[Meaty Portion]

http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2009/11/29/1178175/war-machine-goes-berserk-at-porn

From some faget named Terez Owens: Update: I have in fact spoken to War Machine's Girlfriend Alanah Rae, who confirms that the former MMA star hit her across the face last night at Brook Haven's Birthday Party..She claims he then went on to pummel almost a dozen dudes including his own porn agent Derek Hay..who still remains in the hospital recovering...more to come. -TO

[Meaty Portion]

Here's War Machine's Twitter statement:

http://i50.tinypic.com/b7jifs.jpg

[Meaty Portion]

A little further down on the Bloody Elbow site they have a photo of the fight


http://www.misfitpsycles.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/slave_leia_pillow_fight1.jpg

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

war machine's girlfriendhttp://www.iseekgirls.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/bgb_alanah_rae02.jpg

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

needless to say that's not war machine fucking her

[Meaty Portion]

So here’s the deal..Former UFC fighter Jon Koppenhaver, who legally changed his name to War Machine a few years ago attended a party last night for Porn Star Brooke Haven. Her Birthday party was being held at Ultimate Porn Studios in Van Nuys California..The craziness started when War Machine smacked up his porn star girlfriend Alanah Rae..He then dragged her outside where several people followed him, trying to stop him from hurting his girlfriend..He then laid out at least 8 people at the party..It was pretty much a massacre..Details are trickling in..The Police are still currently looking for him.. Remember, the guy is a MMA fighter turned Porn star. He has given up his seven-year MMA career to have sex for money…His porn dvd is yet to be released.More details to come.. -TO

http://forums.mmajunkie.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&p=523059

[snipe]

im gonna start limping around on my crutches acting like a crippled retard in hopes of crossing paths with war machine one day at which time i will use them as a weapon as he walks past me making fun of me cause im a cripple

[JihadMeAtHello]

That's high-larious. I remember about a year ago I was watching TMZ and they said he was wanted for questioning after 'assaulting multiple subjects at a gay & lesbian nightclub'. What a character.

[Meaty Portion]

LOL @ this quote:

War Machine's grenade is on his neck. Putting a tattoo on your hand is a bad idea since you often have to shake people hands at job interviews. I doubt WM would risk his future like that.


http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/mma.cfm?go=news.detail&gid=202737

[Buckfutts]

he's just misunderstood

[Meaty Portion]

War Machine's next starring role

http://www.thestranger.com/blog/files/2006/10/gay%20porn.jpg

[JihadMeAtHello]

Matt Serra's voice was in War Machine's head at the porn party "Wawwwwww, c'mon wawwww, wuddoowee do when weah down heah?"

[Meaty Portion]

At least Junie Browning is now comparitively starting to look like a respectable citizen.

[JihadMeAtHello]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/I2QkSRkW-BU&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/I2QkSRkW-BU&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Meaty Portion]

:roflnut:

[super hot]

I love Mika Tan

[Buckfutts]

what does WM look like again?

[JihadMeAtHello]

http://mmafix.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/war-machine-arrested.jpg

[Meaty Portion]

what does WM look like again?

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j74/MeatyPortion/TCM%20pix/train_wreck-782867.jpg

[Twincest]

Matt Serra's voice was in War Machine's head at the porn party "Wawwwwww, c'mon wawwww, wuddoowee do when weah down heah?"

Breath Wawww, Breeeeeeeeeath!

Ahhh yah fugin knucklehead.

[INS_tha_rebel]

Apparently War Machine wasn’t too happy, claiming that Derek Hay wasn’t getting him enough work as far as he was concerned. What happened next was speculative. Either War Machine socked a girl or was accused of doing it. Either way he snapped and began doing an Octagon dance and waving his fists. One guy was clocked and had three teeth knocked out. Another guy- an Asian- had his nose broken

:rofl:

[Jonny Loco]

Apparently War Machine wasn’t too happy, claiming that Derek Hay wasn’t getting him enough work as far as he was concerned. What happened next was speculative. Either War Machine socked a girl or was accused of doing it. Either way he snapped and began doing an Octagon dance and waving his fists. One guy was clocked and had three teeth knocked out. Another guy- an Asian- had his nose broken

:rofl:

I loled at that, how is race important!

I've always liked WM, he's like junie browning. And lol at him laying the smack down on pornstars

[INS_tha_rebel]

What the fuck is an Octagon dance?

:lol:

[Jonny Loco]

What the fuck is an Octagon dance?

:lol:

you know the way they sorta bounce on the balls of their feet, then pounce forward - strike - bounce outta range. That's what I imagine.

[pflo]

No, it's real. Just checked.

But the more interesting tidbit is that in the margins of this website there's a ad for the new Twilight porn.

The tagline is pretty sweet for that porn too. "When you can fuck forever, you can fuck everybody"

Deep.

[___]

so it's not real? Sounds like some shit he'd do imo

You don't read too good.

[vegemot]

If he's this insane, you wonder how he managed to get through the first 20 odd years of his life. He seems incapable of going a week without being on the brink of suicide, or a life sentence.

[vegemot]

He's Mclulz squared.

[vincent_vega]

:rofl: War Machine is awesome.

[P 2 Tha Mofo J]

that dude should not be confessing over twitter.

[Tsar]

I support War Machine.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

You don't read too good.

that's why it's not there anymore you butthurt ginger dumbass

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

has this retarded can been arrested yet

[super hot]

I need to create a twitter account so everyone at TCM can be updated on my awesome adventures.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

yeah you do that mante

[P 2 Tha Mofo J]

mante's twitter idea got destroyed just now

[P 2 Tha Mofo J]

i don't even remember war machine when he was on tuf, all i can remember is that badass fight he had with j-roc in the finale

[___]

I support War Machine.

Me too. He's like Ryan but famous and funny. I guess he's nothing like Ryan, but at least he's what Ryan wishes he was.

that's why it's not there anymore you butthurt ginger dumbass

It is too.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

just checked and nope

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

yet another example of how important of a poster I am, wig sits here biding his time for the chance to find a deleted post to obsess about, things like this are a prime example of how influential I am to posters on this forum

[P 2 Tha Mofo J]

ryan's e-battle with dan hardy was ten times more epic than war machine's fight at some random porn party

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

can machine and junie need to be euthanized

[Shogun Marcus]

that dude should not be confessing over twitter.

yes, but this is War Machine we're talking about here. Not a relatively sane person.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

I bet some other porn guy fucked his whore girlfriend at the party and he found out about it

[Shogun Marcus]

I bet some other porn guy fucked his whore girlfriend at the party and he found out about it

Apparently unless she gets paid for it, then it's a problem. He just had to bring down a strong pimp hand on her.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

I don't think war machine is privy to the intricacies of the pimp game, more than likely he just stumbled into a room where his girlfriend was getting fucked in the ass

[Shogun Marcus]

I don't think war machine is privy to the intricacies of the pimp game, more than likely he just stumbled into a room where his girlfriend was getting fucked in the ass

Well at least he didn't kill anyone like William H. Macy.

[Shogun Marcus]

And where was some of those losers that do the interviews for these things. You know with a gathering that big there would be at least one camera to cover this. Watching WM drop people left and right would be the icing on the cake for this story.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

sounds like he tried to though, he went TUF on about 8 people

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

And where was some of those losers that do the interviews for these things. You know with a gathering that big there would be at least one camera to cover this. Watching WM drop people left and right would be the icing on the cake for this story.

it would be great if there was some video to this

[super hot]

www.twitter.com/revolver

please follow me

[Shogun Marcus]

That and we would get to find out exactly what an octagon dance is. I'm thinking he was just circling around a lot because in his drunken state that's all he could handle. With windmill punches thrown in. WM transforming into a drunken tornado of psychotic rage.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

yeah probably just where they are real active on their feet moving/bouncing around I assume that's what he was doing

[Buckfutts]

I love how WM thinks he's tough picking on folk that have had no form of training. Thats about his level because in the cage he's a can and couldn't make it.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

http://www.fightlinker.com/pics/machinewreckage.jpg
According to Adult FYI, the incidents occurred at a party thrown for Brooke Haven at the Ultimate Porn Studios. War Machine began haranguing his agent and then allegedly slapped his girlfriend when she intervened (this has since been denied by the girl in question), according to one attendee.

“Apparently War Machine wasn’t too happy, claiming that Derek Hay wasn’t getting him enough work as far as he was concerned. What happened next was speculative. Either War Machine socked a girl or was accused of doing it. Either way he snapped and began doing an Octagon dance and waving his fists. One guy was clocked and had three teeth knocked out. Another guy- an Asian - had his nose broken,” the source recounted.

“Then War Machine came after Derek and knocked him down. Alec Knight was also hit and went down, his head striking the pavement. It seemed that every time someone tried to advise War Machine to mellow out or tried to talk sense to him, they got hit for their efforts. Maybe six guys in all got punched. War Machine was relentless as the crowd kept a distance.”

“The incident wound up with War Machine and Derek playing hide and seek with one another around a dumpster, then at some point, both War Machine and Derek took off when someone threatened to call the cops.”

[Buckner1986]

Another guy- an Asian - had his nose broken.

Andy Wang loses another one.

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

:roflnut:

[WAR RANDLEMAN!]

I hope he posts about it in his next blog

[Elk Penis]

I believe that War Machine would do something like this, but this is the part I don't believe:

His fists were lethal weapons.

[Buckner1986]

I believe that War Machine would do something like this, but this is the part I don't believe:

You forgot that most of these people at this party were straight out of 'The Hills' and the author of this story probably has the physical stature of Perez Hilton.

[Elk Penis]

You forgot that most of these people at this party were straight out of 'The Hills' and the author of this story probably has the physical stature of Perez Hilton.


LOL - no I was taking that into account.

[Twincest]

Andy Wang loses another one.

they actually train together. the comedic angles are endless.

[California Giant]

Apparently he hit his porn star girlfriend.

[Buckfutts]

How can Asians get theit nose broken? They have no noses

[California Giant]

You have enough for you and the entire Asian population.

[gracie-hunter]

How can Asians get theit nose broken? They have no noses

:potogold:

racist

lmao

[Demon Cobras]

Burtts acting tough again.